Out of the fire

Glad that's over with. Last week had to have been one of the most surreal weeks of my life. It seemed everything just stopped. Fortunately, we've had a little bit of rain and some cool air to clear up the soot, ash and debris out of the atmosphere.

I have a tendency to get sick after a stressful situation. That's what happened day before yesterday. It's just my body's way of saying, "you did too much". Not that I can help it but the body is going to to what it's going to do. Hence: panic attacks, depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. I still can't believe I have all four of these things - AT ONCE!

I'm still feeling better as I find I daydream again. For a while there, nothing excited me at all. During the worst of the depression, even fanciful daydreams had no meaning to me. Nothing pleased me. I put on a nice face to show the world I was with it, but when I was by myself, it was horribly apparent I really didn't give a shit about anything. What an awful way to exist.

Now that Halloween has passed, there's a truck load of candy in the office. Don't know if I can resist it all. Probably not as eating is truly one of my passions. Peanut butter cups are the thing. Love those peanut butter cups.

I won't try too hard to resist. I'm exhausted from stress and want to eat it all away. I'm going to go dive into that chocolate right now!